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Okay I am not always the most observant person around, but I do notice things.

Like tonight, when I pulled into my driveway, I saw that there was a beer bottle on the ground that wasnapos;t there before. I was confused. I donapos;t drink beer and even if I did, it wouldnapos;t be Bud Lite.

And its not like the bottle was just thrown into my yard, it was on the ground on the side of my stairs... Like someone was sitting on my steps and just left his beer on the ground.

Once I finished my little freak out paranoid session in my car, I got out to investigate. The bottle was still cold and had more than a mouth full of beer left in it. Had I just missed someone sitting on my back steps? Had who ever was drinking better right next to my back door ran off - possibly to just behind my house?

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL

Itapos;s my territorial aspect that is giving me this knee-jerk reaction. I feel like Iapos;m channeling my friend Sebastian, HOW DARE YOU invade my space like that How dare someone come onto MY property HOW DARE YOU TAKE AWAY MY SENSE OF SECURITY

Yes, I know I live in a trailer park, but itapos;s a fucking trailer park not the barrio I pay my lot rent, that means the space is MINE. My back steps are not your after dark lounge

I know Iapos;m territorial but what has happened to people and their respect for otherapos;s property? I am always VERY aware of personal space and what belongs to who. I wonapos;t borrow a pen off of someoneapos;s desk at work without getting their express permission, and if no one knows who the pen belongs to, I wonapos;t use it. I am very much a "whatapos;s mine is mine and whatapos;s yours is yours" person.

Just WHAT - THE - HELL? It makes me so uncomfortable knowing someone, if some many someoneapos;s, was in my yard while I wasnapos;t home.

Part of me wants to set out a nasty note in English and Spanish saying to stay the fuck off of my property, but then I worry about retaliation and vandalism and even my dog Panchita being an innocent victim. Another part of me wants to find a way to booby trap my back yard, but thatapos;s very impossible.

I know if I want to keep my sanity I need to look into getting a fence around my yard... But really, what would that do? As I think about getting a small chain link fence for my back "yard" I just know Iapos;d be throwing away money because, as hateful as this sounds, the people who live on this side of town just have no respect for borders or fences.

There. I said it. Great grand daughter of a Mexican immigrant has issues with Mexicans and borders... But really... There are a large number of Mexican nationals living where I do that just have issues with respecting borders... it doesnapos;t matter if its a national border thatapos;s illegal to cross, or a property border of your neighbor, they just have issues.

I am just pissed. If this was a nice rich neighborhood and someone just walked into someone elseapos;s yard and had a beer on their back porch, the police would be called and their image would be circulated throughout the neighborhood in a "watch out for this predator" sort of way.

No, nothing was vandalized. No, I donapos;t really know who did it. No, I donapos;t think itapos;s gonna stop. And yes, I do think angry venting helps me. If I wouldnapos;t have come online to write an angry pissed off blog, I just would have made myself crazy sitting up in bed. Actually, Iapos;m probably going to but up until 6 oapos;clock in the morning flinching at every little sound outside. Youapos;d like after seven years of living alone Iapos;d be use to unexplained noises from outside.

Part of me is also paranoid that little things, like trash being on my back steps, means that someone is monitoring my house to see if they can break in. My neighborapos;s house was broken into in June or July and when ever I see something thatapos;s off, I try to fix it. Throw the trash away thatapos;s on my back steps that I didnapos;t put there, move the trash cans back to the position I left them in (yes, Iapos;ve come home to find my trash cans moved around), and I continue to try to leave signs that yes someone does live here.

This is just another reenforcement that I really do belong away from most people. A normal person with no people issues wouldnapos;t be pissed like this... Would they?

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